Coconut Cracking

A coco-nundrum:
what's the best way to get into a coconut and still conserve an attractive serving container worthy of a tropical beach tiki-bar?

There's hardly anything in the world worse than when you have a coconut and no way to open it. You decide in desperation to drop it off a 7-story rooftop, or sneak up on an idling car at a stoplight to pop it under one of the tires. You forage for any contraption: a pen, a rock, teeth. (I highly recommend against using teeth; the husk is quite bitter.) It's agony when just a scant few inches of husk separate you from heavenly tropical nectar. But, there's good news! The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the blade reigns supreme in coconut cutting. Having a edge won't guarantee your attempt to crack the nut will make the cut. So here's a how-to that I hope will help you hack well and hack true.

There are many ways of getting into a coconut, and the following method is not the fastest or most efficient. However, this approach produces a special presentation. The husk becomes a table-ready container. The aperture is wide, so you can add ice cubes or dig around with a spoon to gather the delicious meat contained therein. The product is the iconic coconut served at tiki-bars, still in its husk, and adorned with swizzle sticks, pineapple wedges, and little paper umbrellas. Here is how it's done:

Stem-side goes down.
 
 

To cut a flat bottom, make a horizontal hack near the stem.
 

Twist the blade to pry the husk away from the nut.
 

Continue to remove the husk until the bottom is flat.
 

Repeat the process on the other side. Make shallow cuts to avoid breaking the hard inner nut.
 

Shave the husk to expose the crown of the inner nut.
 
 

Give a deft whack along the edge of the crown. Turn the coconut and whack the opposite side. Repeat as needed.

Once the crown breaks, pry the broken piece away from the nut, insert a straw, ice, pineapple juice, lime, etc., and enjoy.